Sexiest person alive.

You people really have the honour of knowing me. Since you've all been so good to me, I'll give you a great and awesome picture of myself, the sexiest person alive.

Walter's Glossary of Internet Annoyances

Part 3:
“Comments on YouTube Videos”

When people ask me where I think the vilest cesspool of inbred retards on the internet call their home, they would probably expect an answer like “4chan” or “LUEshi” or “pen-island.com.” They couldn’t be more wrong. I would tell them that YouTube and its comment system is by far the lowest, most indecipherable pile of feces I have ever laid eyes upon. Let’s take a look at the various forms of retardation:

Example #1: The Illegible Troll

Comments like these put the “laughter” in “manslaughter.” These ludicrous comments aren’t even worth making sense of. It makes you wonder if there are actual people that spend their days searching for random videos online only to post an unreadable hate-filled comment to show their disapproval.

I think I may have found myself I new hobby!

Example #2: The Plot Spoiler

This is the kind of sick, twisted, and malicious person that finds joy in revealing key plot changes and surprises in its comments. (Yes, these people are so vile; I’m not even going to bother assigning them a gender) They say things like, “omg I cant beleve dat dude in saw wasn’t rlly ded!” and “omg anakin is darth vadr! I nvr evn new!” Not that these things came as a surprise to me, but there’s no sense in mentioning them in your comment. People watch the movie so that they can see these things for themselves, not have them prematurely revealed through your imbecilic, thickheaded, moronic comments.

You wouldn’t want to hear a person scream out the ending of a movie while in a real movie theatre, so please, don’t be a prick! Just rate the video!

Example #3: The Quoter

These people like to quote the funniest part of the video they just watched, in case the person watching the video misses it or couldn’t understand it. Sounds like a noble cause, right? Right? Wrong. If I wanted to know which part of the video they thought was funniest, I’d send them a survey. I don’t care if their memory is good enough to write down word-for-word what their favorite part of the movie was. I don’t care if they “lol fell off my chare lafghing! Loljk!” I don’t care if this video, along with the other 7000 videos on their favorites list are the funniest thing they’ve ever seen.

Liked the video? Give it a good rating; don’t make yourself look like a douche silo with a quote comment.

Example #4: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

You wouldn’t believe the number of successful celebrity and anonymous nerd relationships that were started from a single “ur hot lol” YouTube comment. Oh wait, that never happens! Even if *Insert name of famous hot girl here* herself posted the video and actually took the time to read the thousands of illegible comments, you’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell of actually getting their attention. Go back to Myspace! At least the fake pinups there will leave you a generic comment once every blue moon, if you’re lucky. It’s people like example #4 here that would actually make the effort to take their dick out of their hand after watching the video and type up a marriage proposal.

Here’s some advice: Keep it in your pants, and keep your comments to yourself.

These are all the different examples of annoying comments I can think of without having to actually sift through more of this garbage. Remember kiddies, if you’re ever feeling stupid or incompetent, just browse YouTube for a while and witness the utterly mindless drivel therein. You’ll be feeling like part of the master race in no time!

Latest in the art world.

So, Walter and I have been watcing the anime Ergo Proxy, for the past few days.
I've really enjoyed it so far, and this character is just plain coolsville.
He's one of the Proxyies they've shown so far, he is Ergo Proxy, the Proxy of Death.

I've finally tried out a new coloring style in this, and I think it turned out nicely.

Full image here.

Walter's Glossary of Internet Annoyances

Part 2:
"Browsers Suck"

They are our ticket to exploring this wonderful World Wide Web. You can find thousands of pages of forum topics debating this so-called “Best Browser” but in reality, there is no such thing. All of them suck. I’m going to review some popular browsers for you, and then provide with my solution to this craptastic browser problem.

Microsoft Internet Explorer:
Most unknowing computer owners will use this because they haven’t discovered any alternatives, and probably don’t care either. They deal with hundreds of different browser windows due to not being able to comprehend “tabbed browsing” and think pop-up ads are something everyone has to deal with. Let’s face it; even IE7 is a piece of garbage, and probably the most dangeresque way to browse the Internet. I think Microsoft should start marketing IE with that X-Treme feel to it.

”With Internet Explorer, you can browse the web…dangerously!”

”Choose Internet Explorer, and let your computer experience the thrill of risk-taking!”

”Browsing the web with Internet Explorer is like unprotected sex; It feels so much better!”

Disregarding that last one, I think I may have a future in the advertising business! I haven’t dared to use IE for many months now, and I’m not going to waste my time taking a screenshot just to prove how much it fails.

Mozilla Firefox:
I like Firefox. I use Firefox quite frequently. Firefox has tons of neat and useful extensions. Most computer savvy people use Firefox, and I have no problem with that, but daaaang it’s a memory hog! It’s like having all the butterscotch pudding one could ever want, but having no place to put it all! Even if you do have ample RAM to run Firefox smoothly, “Live Bookmarks” is the crappiest excuse (or replacement) for a decent RSS feed I’ve ever seen. Here’s an example:

If I were to click that “Open All in Tabs” button, it would be the memory equivalent to shoving twelve hippos into a compact sedan. (With the windows down and no sunroof, mind you)

Opera
Geiger uses it. I need no other reason to say it sucks. The only reason I would use Opera would be to say ”I browse with my O-Face on!” But it’s pretty difficult to say that without looking like a total douche biscuit.

Safari
Yeah, Mac-only. Windows users gtfo. Safari comes as the default browser on Macs, and even though it’s a huuuuge step up from Internet Explorer, it still has its problems. The RSS feed is really nice, and that’s a plus. But some websites treat Safari like crap. (*cough*Blogger.com*cough*) It’s pretty easy on the memory, and seems a great deal spryer than Firefox. The biggest problem I have with Safari is the lack of cool extensions. Firefox has a crapload of good extensions (Like Foxytunes) And you’d think Apple would at least implement an iTunes extension into Safari, but noooo! They want to force us Apple users to migrate to Firefox. Apple keeps pushing this “iLife programs work so well together!” but I guess Safari is left out of that circle of software butt-buddies. Safari has virtually no decent free extensions, and I haven’t seen any effort on their part to make any.

The Solution!
Most people complain and whine about something without providing a solution, but not Walter! I have devised a project to create the world’s best browser ever! Combining the goldmine of nifty extensions for Firefox, the speed, style, and RSS of Safari, and the monopolization of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer, I present to you:

Safixplorerfox 72!

You may be wondering why I didn’t include the IE icon. That’s because it’s the lamest icon ever.

Nathan, fire up that C++ compiler! You’ve got a lot of work to do!

What I've been doing.

Ok, here's the deal, a website I frequent Shurtugal.com is making a calender for the writer of Eragon, and Eldest. They're accepting messages, poems, notes, pictures, and fan art, that will be put in the calender, and sent to him.

I decided to do my rendition of Saphira from the books, it's almost like the movie version, with a little of the book cover version, and some Geiger original.

I'm really stoked about the movie coming out as well, and I'm just glad I got this done.

All in all, it took me a total of 6 hours of actual work, over the course of 4 days, yes, I know I'm one lazy artist, but hey, I got it done!

So yeah, here's the full picture: Full View

Feel free to critique/comment on it.

Roast Beef and Curly Fries? Count me in!

Click on the Arby's logo to see how I deal with the dreadful condition of our planet!

So, this is my review of .Hack G.U (No, G.U does not stand for G. Unit) the simulation MMORPG. Not to be mistaken with a real MMORPG. You basically play a game inside of a game. The MMORPG that your character commits the entirety of his life to is called “The World”. No, it’s not clever or catchy but it does make for some great catch phrases such as; “That is how things are in “The World”, “This too is part of “The world”, "Death and life bring balance to “The World”.



You take the role of a player named Haseo (Ha-say-yo) who is new to the world. Sadly he gets PKed (player killed) his first time logging in. Yeah, that’s right you suck from the very beginning, makes you want to keep playing right? Well, hold your breath it gets better! The cut scene where you got PKed continues eight months into the future where you watch as a group of PKs pwn a small party. After the party is crushed you swoop in and kill the whole lot of PKs. Yes that is right you are now a great PKK (PlayerKiller Killer) known as “The Terror of Death” again not clever or catchy but it works. So does your e-penis feel better? Good!



Haseo is in search of a “almightyl” PK known as Tri-Edge. This rumor based PK attacked Haseo's friend Shino and put her into a coma. Haseo swore he would find Tri-edge and kill him and find a cure for his friend. Shortly after the above paragraph you find Tri-edge and try to take him on yourself and guess what…you got P W N E D!!! Instead of putting you into a coma you get beat like a red headed step-child and all your character data is erased. So now the mighty “Terror of Death” is level one!!!11!!!! This is where you get to start playing the game....well if you want to after all that e-penis removal...



From there you start lvling up and meeting your partymembers for the game. You have to run a few quests and area jobs to advance the story but only when you see fit. So you will have time to lvl up to ensure you do not get beat like previously mentioned Cut scenes.

There is a lot of optional reading in the beginning of the game and throughout its entirety. Starting with Community News and Community Forums as well as emails you will receive from other players. Once you log into “The World” you have the “Official Forum” and the “Official Site” to read through. By reading through the forums you can gain things from Wallpapers to Area words. “Area Words” consist of three words that create a field or dungeon for you to play it.



I am not going to sit tell you how the whole game played out because that would just be a waste of my personal and important time. So now I will just list the pros and cons of the game.



Pros-

Decent Character development

Interesting story line

Decent battle system and leveling system

Controls are easy

There are extra things you can do outside of the story line

You can FINALLY be a class other than “Twin Blade” but you have to earn it!! But it beats not having it at all.





Cons-

The game does get a bit repetitive feel when you try to “Lvlar up”

You play jerk of a character so you have to put up with watching “you” say mean things to the other players.

Certain boss fights take long not because they are hard but because they have a massive amount of HP!!



 

Walter's Glossary of Internet Annoyances

Part 1:
"And And?"

I’m sure every Myspace user has stumbled upon the doubling up of the ampersand (&&) at least once during their Myspace lives. (Myspace lives? Isn’t that an oxymoron?) If not, just go searching for some preppy girls complete with their CSS’ploding profiles and you’ll be sure to see it in their list of interests.

I rly luv <3
abercrombie && fitch <3
hugs && kisses <3
flats && converses <3
laguna beach && the oc <3
typing leik a caveman && being totally self-absorbed omg! <3

Although I’m no programmer, I have seen two ampersands used before in some programming books, and unless there’s some secret society of teenage girls that just so happen to be Cisco certified, it’s just another pointless, faddish, retarded waste of time.

And here’s what makes it even better:

If you ask them why they “spel leik dis lol” they’ll tell you that they’re able to type faster that way. Now if they were really concerned about typing speed, why would they throw in extra characters and retarded HTML tags? Because it makes the captions under their revealing pictures harder to read, "forcing" us to prolong our ogling while we try to decipher their poor attempt at the English language.

Now that I think about it, that really isn't a bad thing...Unless they're ugly.

That's all I have for today! Tune in next time to see why all browsers suck, and how I plan to change that!

Hai 2 u

Hello all! To commemorate my addition to the Subtle blog team, I thought I would go ahead and contribute a haiku of my own. There's no way it'll even approach the excellence of Walter's, but one must start somewhere, eh?

Paisley is supple
Dance, revolutionary
Fluffy panda bear

There you have it.

-Show me yours, I'll show you mine. You know sincerity grows in time.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

It was this very day in the year 2005 that I went out on a limb and purchased my first Apple computer. Though I did a considerable amount of research before buying, I still wasn’t entirely certain of OS X’s greatness. But dang, I am now!

Apple.com is having a one-day sale (today!), which will save you upwards of one hundred dollars on selected models! </apple salesman> So if any of you good Samaritans out there feel the urge to buy me a shiny new iMac, today is the day to do it!

So here’s to you, my portable “Perturbative Transfer Device!” Happy Anniversary, and I hope we can make many more joyful memories until I get a Macbook Pro and pawn you off to some stranger.


(The next blog entry won't be Apple-related, I promise!)

Mmmm, Tasty.

See the full Big Mac ad here.
I'd take a bite out of that appl...ehh..burger?

Here's what I want for Christmas:

Check it out! Apple’s new iTT is just what I've been waiting for! With my Phish records collecting dust in the closet, I decided it was time to pull them back out, and what better way to make a record comeback then with Apple’s newest addition to their portable music line up, the iTT. Sick of your iPod’s battery running out of juice? I know I am! With the iTT’s 10 D-Cell batteries, you can jam until your jam is through!

It looks like Apple is going in the same direction as Sony and Microsoft by making their newest product larger than life, and at nearly 40lbs, this wonder of technology almost outweighs an XBOX 360!

Click here to see the full ad.

hav spamd 4 sexxx

Here's my haiku:

Toothpaste, movie quote
Everyone is the sunlight
A mighty wind blows

"will blog 4 food"

Here's a haiku to commemorate the inauguration of this blog. Think of it as a literary bottle of champagne being bashed against the hull of some blog whose content is of questionable taste.

Forums were crappy
All the cool people have blogs
Hippos cannot dance